'I can resist anything but temptation' Oscar Wilde

The blog of a cinnamon-addict, photographer and dancer.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Personalizing our life: change

We've all surely been in that situation where our close friends came to us telling the events they've just been through and asking for advice. "Tell me what to do, how to act!" is a line we've heard so many times.

What did we answer to that? "Oh, I don't know, just be yourself, do what you think is right to do." In a way, it is correct to do that; after all, we don't have the right to tell people, not even our closest friends, what to do. On the other hand, though, we could personalize our answers and give them a piece of advice. People are free to choose whether to act accordingly or to make their own decisions.

The way we act changes people's perspective on us. We all know that by now, don't we? But what do we do in situations when people already know us, our reactions and our behaviour, but we have changed and we want to show them exactly that?

We have the option to behave completely different from what we used to behave like in the past. This will prove we have changed, but, at the same time, it could give the wrong impression that we are exaggerating in our attempt of acting differently. We could seem overwhelmed by the situation, crazy and even unstable.

We could, on the other hand, act normal. And by normal I mean, speak, walk and listen exactly the way we feel like doing it at the moment. If someone upsets us, we should show it. If we perceive them as great friends, we should tell them. The impression they are left with is subjective and, as long as we have done all we wanted to do, this shouldn't affect us too much. If they ask for explanations, we can give them some, that is if we are willing to.

It is funny, after all, to watch people trying to adapt to a different you. It is interesting to observe the way they're struggling to explain to themselves the changes they see in you or the changes in their personal perception (can perception not be personal???) of you. Did they interpret you the wrong way? Did they treat you badly because they didn't know your real feelings? Did you really change? Does this mean everything is changed or just some parts of you? and this could go on.

Personal artwork

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